One Day More
by southern cross
Summary: AU-Human.  Chloe looked up and a year almost to the day she found the green eyes that had once so captivated her looking down at her. His voice was a deep rumble that made her stomach flip and her skin tighten.  Crap; she was in so much trouble.
1. Chapter 1

Read the trilogy in one weekend and fell in love with this pairing. I really shouldn't be starting another multi-chap but I couldn't resist. I own nothing and mean no harm. The songs belong to Les Mis and Damien Rice.

Reviews are wonderful and will feed my muse.

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'One more day all on my own, one more day with him not caring.'

The line played over and over in her head, the tune running through her blood. The jolt of the bell ripped the tune from her as the jostling of bodies and instant chatter came to life around her.

Class was over, she glanced down at the blank page before her, nothing. Liz would be coughing over notes later; she owed her for the chemistry help last weekend. Not that English was a class she needed much help in. Chloe had already read the book they were dissecting, had critiqued most of it already, and had moved onto the next title on the syllabus. Hawthorne and Hemingway, real creative choices, she sighed.

Last week junior year had started and she had had high hopes that this year it would be different, this year she would find her place, her challenge.

Yeah, no, so it hadn't happened; yet, it hadn't happened yet. A week in and she was pretty much done.

She was still tiny, mousy Chloe with too many movie quotes stuck in her head. Her Aunt had assured her that she would begin to fill out soon, it had happened to her Mom late too. The head full of dialogue was her own problem to solve. Not that it was a problem; it was just one more thing that set her apart.

Practically she couldn't walk around with a camcorder, she had tried unsuccessfully the first week in June and two ugly confrontations later she had stored the camera, vowing only to use it when she had a specific scene in mind that she wanted to frame out.

By the second week of June she had dug her Father's camera out of the hall closet. Chloe doubted he knew what he had purchased, she remembered they had gone to get her an iPod and the clerk had somehow talked him into buying the complicated camera with the extra lens.

Both pieces had been still in their original packaging and when Chloe had finally managed to figure out where A went into B she had made a friend. The camera hadn't left her hand since. Taking pictures, still pictures weren't the same as the movies she hoped one day to make, but it was turning out to be a pretty awesome substitute. A few of the images even to her critical eye had turned out nice.

When Aunt Lauren had suggested she sign up for some of the photography classes her school offered, she had answered with a sure and swift, "hell no."

While the school was arts friendly the arts themselves knew better than to mingle. One simply did not go from theater to drawing or band to dance. Chloe was theater arts; the broadest of the disciplines true, but it didn't mean that she could simply show up in a photography studio and not make waves. And making waves was not what Chloe did.

So she had carried around her camera, taking shots on the sly, never over stepping her bounds. She had never signed up for a class or stepped foot in one of their studios; nor would she.

Gathering up her bag she made her way out of English, her last class of the day and into the rush of the hallway. Her locker was one floor up, near the gym, she walked slowly, taking the steps one at a time, and voices rose and fell around her.

Near the landing she heard the boisterous laugh and familiar blond head as it ran past her, Simon Bae, no doubt off to one of the practices for the various sports teams he belonged too. Simon was one of the few crossovers; he was a talented artist, fluid and sure strokes filling up his weekly comic strip in the school paper.

'The Supernaturals' was a favorite with every student and Simon eased into popularity with artistic skills and athletic skills. She smiled as his red and white lettermen jacket disappeared around the corner, they had shared a few classes, and she might even go as far as to say that they were friends.

And no matter what Rae said, 'friends' was just fine by her, not that anyone believed her. Most of the girls, Rae included, held a special place in their heart for Simon.

From her pocket she felt the buzz of an incoming message, pausing at the top of the stairs she reached for her phone and flipped it open.

'Running late, catch a bus?' her Aunt was supposed to pick her up for some more clothes shopping. No doubt held up at the hospital, it didn't bother Chloe, it hadn't been her idea to expand her closet. She typed back a quick 'np. *hugs* don't work too late.'

Finally at her locker, Chloe swapped out what she didn't need for what she needed; confident she had homework covered she shut her locker and adjusted the strap on her messenger bag.

'There out in the darkness, a fugitive running,' the tunes were starting up in her head again, she hummed quietly. The halls had thinned out, so she pulled her camera out, adjusting the lens and taking a quick shot of the custodian struggling to open a locker belonging to a frazzled looking freshman.

There was another buzz from her pocket, this one more persistent, "hey girl."

Liz began rambling in her ear, her bus had already left and Chloe could hear the shouts of students in the background.

"You are not going to believe who I heard was back," Chloe had only been paying half attention to her friend; she had been trying to remember which bus stop she needed to get too.

"Chloe pay attention," busted, "Sorry Liz, I-I'm just a little lost," she had spent time over the summer with a speech therapist. While not totally over the stutter the therapy had and was helping. Any little bit of flustered though and it was back to stumbling lips.

Finally she saw the bench and pole and she grinned, the public transportation was not the fastest way to travel but she didn't mind, she liked seeing the different faces on board.

Liz was still rambling as she took her seat on the edge of the bench; pulling the strap of her bag over her head she rested it next to her, mindful to keep a hand on the strap.

"Can you believe it?" Liz squealed in her ear. No not really, but then she hadn't heard a word.

"I'm sorry what," Chloe could hear the eye roll and grimaced, so sue her she hated talking on the phone, which was why she had an unlimited text messaging plan.

"I said they are saying he's back," her first thought was who was 'they' but then her curiosity got the better of her.

"Who's back Liz," her voice had dropped into a dramatic whisper that made her grimace. There was nothing worse than living a cheesy teen movie moment.

Abruptly, Chloe was aware of someone else nearby, someone else watching her; she looked up, her jaw dropped at who she saw.

"Derek," absently she heard Liz's noise of disgust, "who told you?" fumbling with the phone she muttered a quick, "I gotta go," and hung up.

Derek Souza leaned against the bus stop, his shoulder pressing into the route map; she figured it hurt, it had to hurt it was metal.

Her thoughts were scattering, she swallowed, he didn't look her way, if he had heard her say his name, and she didn't know how he could have missed it, he wasn't acknowledging it.

He was annoying like that.

Even more annoying was the fact that he was back, enrolled in classes if the backpack was any indication and she had not heard word one about it. Looking down at her feet she felt the shuffle in her head, 'can't take my mind off of you. I can't take my mind off of you,' her heart skipped a beat.

Not that song, pretty much any song would be OK but that one. She busied herself with her bag and found her wallet, she went through the motions of counting out exact change, and she hated fumbling when paying the fare. Everyone would be watching and waiting to get back on the road.

And how the hell could he just come back and not tell her.

Looking up his profile revealed nothing; he was still staring out at the street, still ignoring her.

The punch of hurt to her gut was startling, she might have gasped, after everything they had been through how could he just be here, be there and just, just stand there.

There was no way she could be there anymore, pain was shifting into panic, and she needed to not be there anymore. Rising, the strap of her pain bit painfully into her wrist twisting as she began to walk, she had made it a block before the pain radiated far enough up her arm that she thought to untangle it and draw the strap over her shoulder.

Derek was back, the thought just looped over and over in her head, he was back and he had ignored her. She wasn't sure which shocked her more or which hurt her more.

Another block walked and her thoughts began to settle, the whole scene began to play out again, from the phone call to the first look at him, and she began to dissect it, analyze it with her inner eye. He looked, good, better than good, he looked great.

Of course that would be the first thing she would notice, but his face had been noticeably clear and his hair had been shorter than she was used to seeing him with. Good for him, she could be generous with her thoughts when pushed, she was super proud of herself.

Taking a deep breath she considered what he was wearing, dark clothes, at least that hadn't changed. Dark gray shirt and dark blue jeans, what was different was the way he filled them. She could see, even in her brief perusal that he had filled out with some serious muscle. He was taking better care of himself, which was even better, good for him.

Abruptly she stopped, he had looked amazing, and God she had missed him.

Looking around she blinked at the surprising surroundings, shops and restaurants, she had walked in the exact opposite direction she needed to be heading.

"Shit," she sighed, adjusting her bag the weight of it was irritating her shoulder. Her Derek fueled thoughts had distracted her and now she had no idea which bus to take to get home. Digging out her phone she scrolled through her contacts until she found the number she was looking for.

Begrudgingly she called the cab, forty-five minutes, "great," Chloe wouldn't think of herself as a mean person, but she certainly sent a few mean thoughts to the boy who had prompted this detour to her afternoon.

"Whatever," squaring her shoulders, she decided she would make the best of the situation, there was a café and outdoor tables; she could work with that.

Feeling better with her juice and muffin, she took a seat and pulled her notebook out of her bag. There was homework she could work on; there were some scenes that could be ironed out.

She would be productive, her pen was out and poised on a blank sheet of paper.

Nothing.

Not a word.

Not an idea.

Dropping the pen she sank back in her seat, her mind began to wander, a natural progression. She had seen _him_ and so her thoughts went _there_.

Derek Souza was that guy, that guy in the halls that people avoided, no one sat with him at lunch and no one picked him to be lab partners with.

At the start of her sophomore year, Chloe had fallen in quickly with Liz and soon after Rae and she had seen the waves created when Derek walked through the halls, but she had never thought that much about it.

Perhaps it had been all the moving she had done, all the different schools she had been forced to transfer into because of her Father's work, but she had always been the new girl, so if he was 'that guy' than who was she to judge him too harshly.

With a firm promise from her Father that they would be here through graduation she had done her best to acclimate socially and academically. And it had been her math teacher who had made the quiet suggestion that she employ the use of a tutor.

All the moving had left her education a bit uneven and if she wanted a shot at a decent college she was going to have to bring up her GPA. That same teacher had given her a slip of paper and told her that a tutor would meet her after school.

Of course she hadn't told anyone, who would tell if they were getting tutored, Liz and Rae had both skipped off after classes with a promise to call her later and Chloe had made it to the assigned classroom early.

The classroom had been empty when she had gotten there, having never been formally tutored, she simply took a seat and pulled out her math book and waited.

She might have started doodling in the margins of the book, in pencil, she was by no means an artist, but there wasn't much talent needed for stars.

Five points and big bursts she drew them all.

A cough had made her jump; her pencil had dropped out of her hand and bounced off her book and onto the white tile. Before she could untangle her limbs to retrieve it, a hand, a large hand, reached down and picked it up.

Her eyes went from the yellow pencil, to the hand that held it and swept up to into the eyes of Derek Souza.

Blinking out of the memory of that first meeting she realized that once again she wasn't alone. Chloe looked up and a year almost to the day she found the green eyes that had once so captivated her looking down at her.

"Hello Chloe," his voice was a deep rumble that made her stomach flip and her skin tighten.

Crap; she was in so much trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm stunned at the reaction to this fic, I had no idea people were going to dig the AU, so mad thanks to everyone who reviewed and keep them coming, because my muse is a fickle wench! I own nothing and mean no harm so please enjoy.

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_Chloe looked up and a year almost to the day she found the green eyes that had once so captivated her looking down at her._

"_Hello Chloe," his voice was a deep rumble that made her stomach flip and her skin tighten._

_Crap; she was in so much trouble._

* * *

In a perfect world, in a moment she directed she would have had a witty retort at the ready or a pithy remark that went with the flip of her ponytail.

Unfortunately she was wearing a sparkly gold headband, which while adorable, would not handle a hair toss of any sort.

The precious seconds that she wasted thinking random empty thoughts were not wasted by _him_ however. Without invitation he took the seat across from her, his movements as graceful as they ever were. Had she really teased him once upon a time that he shouldn't be that coordinated that far from the ground?

She swallowed back her pain and washed it down with a sip of her now unappealing juice. His backpack dropped to the ground next to him and she quickly looked away before his attention moved from sitting to her. If he could ignore her at the bus stop than she could, would, ignore him here.

She went so far as to reach for her iPod, but thought better of it, she wasn't a coward. Well she hated the dark, like mind bending fear of the dark, but that was different. Also she wasn't keen on waterfalls, which he had once thought was fascinating. That half hour had not been one of her favorites. Who liked talking about their fears?

Picking her pen back up, Chloe was two and a half points into a five pointer when she realized what she was doing and dropped the pen. Too much history was repeating itself today.

Glancing at her watch, there was still thirty minutes to go, if the cab was on time, which they usually weren't and heaven forbid they be early; the perils of living in the suburbs.

"Late," his voice was rough and she wondered if he had gone a week without talking, he had done that before, his voice unaccustomed to public use. She refused to think there were nerves or emotion in the tone; absolutely refused.

The refusal irritated her, "hot date actually," she looked up at him, a little shocked at the hostility in her voice. His reaction did not disappoint, she watched him as his eyes went wide and his jaw clenched.

Good, let him stew over that. Served him right, she had sat on that bench like a fool while he stared out at the non-existent traffic.

Her fingers found her pen and the drumming commenced, a part of her knew it would bug, well it used to bug him, another, bigger part of her didn't care and in fact she increased the tempo. There was definite annoyance growing in his shoulders, she wouldn't look him in the eye, or acknowledge him directly but the body language screamed irritation.

Chloe was fairly certain it was his irritation of her that had gotten her in this mess in the first place, that and a crappy math grade.

There hadn't been one specific thing he done or not done that had made her nervous during that first meeting, and to be honest she tended to be a bit on the jumpy side as it was; give her a loud noise in an empty room and she was a mess.

But that first afternoon when her pencil wasn't writing out algorithms it was tapping on the edge of the desk.

"Do you mind," his voice was deep, a bit gruff, and she imagined he could use it for some voice over work. Unfortunately it was that distracting thought that led her pencil into hyper speed and if he hadn't reached over and put his hand over hers she might have broken it in half.

Talk about awkward moments, his hand dwarfed hers; she stared down at the top of his hand and just hadn't been able to reconcile his warm palm with the cold shoulder he had been giving her.

As a tutor he might have been good, she had no point of reference, she had given him the folded piece of paper and he had read it quickly. Without complaint he had written out several problems and asked her quietly to work them through, "I'll watch, just see how you work it through."

Pleased with the idea she had settled into the work diligently and she might have fumbled over a few of trickier steps, but the idea that he was going to help her through it and not just give her the answers was kind of awesome.

So she had been waiting for him to 'grade' her work and her pencil had decided to dance and now he was touching her. Who touched anyone? She could go days without touching anyone and here he was touching her; and she didn't mind one bit.

Of course he had snatched his hand back and she had grinned at the blush that had spread across his cheeks. Chloe could admit, and had, that she liked making Derek blush, so many things didn't get to him like they got to others, her, and if she could make the red appear she had once considered that a successful day.

Sighing she reached for the muffin she had bought, her appetite gone; she ripped a piece and tossed it to a few black birds who had settled on the empty newspaper dispenser.

Halfway through the lemon poppy seed she had just about reached her limit of the silent stare. Derek had tracked her down, invaded her outdoor space, and not said another word. Of course it was going to be up to her, it shouldn't be up to her, and she wished she was strong enough to continue ignoring him, but she wasn't and couldn't.

Crumbling the muffin up she tossed the remnants cringing when they went further than anticipated, a few might have smacked into a passing import, but whatever, she was helping nature.

"So," she still wasn't looking at him, just because she was talking doesn't mean she had to look, "you're back."

There might have been a grunt, she wasn't sure, it better not have been, because a grunt or a growl, he had been inclined to use both once upon a time, wasn't going to cut it this time.

And then there was a million things she wanted to say, had to say, she did look up at him then, surprised at the clear skin and bright green eyes; she swallowed back the rush of desire, it wasn't fair, he goes away and comes back, he shouldn't look better.

The anger was building, cresting, "You know when you left, after, no one said anything to me," the see saw that was her emotions swung and she went swiftly from anger over to tears but she would not cry in front of him, not again.

"I mean Simon is your brother and we had spoken, like, three times, but I guess he didn't think I should know" and that was a whole other level of pain. She looked at him across the table, trying to see something in those eyes that would explain why he had never said anything to his brother or father about her.

If he got the gist of what he was implying it wasn't revealed on his face; of course. Stoic Derek, she wanted to curse, to scream, instead she took a deep breath and tried to rub the growing tension out of her forehead with the knuckle on her thumb; it didn't help.

"Anyway, I was pretty frantic after two days," she laughed, it wasn't pretty, "so I went over and knocked on the door," she had been in his house before, several times. Derek had snuck her in often, and she would admit that she had snuck him into her place more than once. Those had been precious times for her, memories she had cherished and replayed.

"And when your Dad came to the door and told me you were lying down," she had been dismissed with a curt 'no visitors right now' there hadn't been many replays after that. Chloe had walked down the Bae driveway and as sure as he was staring at her right now he had watched her walk away.

But that was then and this was now and she was so over him and his everything, "so anyway, you didn't want to see me and I get that, it was a pretty crappy situation right?" there was bitterness in her voice that she didn't like hearing.

Digressing, her words were slipping away from her; it occurred to her that she hadn't stuttered, not once, Derek, _her_ Derek had had a calming effect on her speech. She was loathe to admit it was with his quiet encouragement that she had made the decision to get therapy. He hadn't cared one way or the other, and it was his acceptance that had given her the courage to try. This Derek was a stranger to her, but a part of her apparently recognized him, she hadn't tripped over one word, not even in her anger.

Whatever, she rolled her eyes, more at herself than anything; she glanced at her watch, ten more minutes. Her feet had begun to bounce under the table, and if he said one word, she would probably scream; she might do that anyway.

"I just, I mean," she looked over at him, "something Derek, you could have left me with something," there was pain in her voice and a desperate edge that made her teeth clench, she had no idea if she could still trust him with her heart, and there she had gone and laid it right out there.

He looked away, she sucked in a hard breath, blinking she swore she could hear the squish of his steps stomping over the heart she had laid out on the table.

Her imagination was way to vivid for this type of moment, her heart wasn't on the table, she wouldn't die from the pain of yet another rejection; but it sure felt that way.

"Right, well," she picked up her notebook and pen; there was no way in hell she was going to sit around and not hear him explain himself.

"I think I've made a big enough of a fool of myself," standing she lifted her bag and dumped it none to gently on the table, she stuffed her pen and paper inside.

Derek had stood up too, she wanted to ignore him, but he was too tall his shadow covered her totally.

"Chloe, wait," she snorted.

"Right, you had your chance," and we were back to anger, "when you left, when you were gone, a million chances, and now," she looked up at him, her fists clenched, "and now you're back, _back_, and and, God," she didn't even know where to surface through her anger.

"Liz knew before me, and probably half the school," God she was an idiot, "why did you even bother?"

"Chloe," there was a plea in there, maybe he wanted to explain, maybe he had the best explanation ever.

"It's too late," the words came out before she could even process them; the look on his face rocked her. Pain and fear, it ripped through her, there right there that was her Derek, not the cool and calm guy who had sat there passively as she had spilled her guts.

The honk made them both jump, she looked over, her cab had arrived, "I gotta go."

"Wait, please, let me just explain," he might have reached for her, she might have knocked his hand away, it might have been as warm as she remembered.

"I have to go," her hand was on the door handle, her getaway was almost clean.

"Right, hot date," she didn't know if it was the jealousy in his voice or the hurt in her heart that made her turn back around.

"That's right, I wouldn't want to just ditch without a call or text," Derek went pale at her words her tone, and just maybe the realization that she might really have a date, with someone else, and she did feel a little tiny bit bad about lying; but not enough to keep her from getting into the cab and not looking back once.

The drive home was only ten minutes without the stops in between and it was enough to send her into complete panic mode.

Derek was back, from wherever he had disappeared too, back and probably living at home. Duh, her eyes went towards the Bae house automatically as they passed. He would be there now, day and night.

Her head was throbbing with the implications, she had gotten used to not looking in the yard for him; Simon usually cajoled him into a game a pick up after dinner when it was nice. Or watch him for him from the living room as he was stretching to go for a run.

After their first study session, she had been surprised to find that they lived on the same street, just a handful of houses apart. They had met up a few times at one house or the other to study, she had never found it awkward to have him over, even when her Aunt was out; and that was often.

On the rare occasions that Aunt Lauren had been home Derek had been quiet and respectful and Chloe was fairly certain it was all the 'yes ma'am' and 'no ma'am' that had won her Aunt over.

And now he was back and he was going to be all athletic and family friendly again and it was going to kill her, what with the newly found muscles and smooth skin. She had been crazy about him before and now he was back and yummier and totally not hers anymore.

With tears in her eyes she paid the cabbie, her tip was probably obnoxiously big, but she didn't care, she had to get inside. It was ridiculous to think that Derek would have gotten home before her, but then again he wasn't supposed to back at all, so who knew.

Once safely inside she locked the door and promptly slid to the floor, then and only then did she let the tears come; big loud gut wrenching sobs that would have played out perfectly on film.

The more she tried to wrap her brain around the fact that Derek was back the harder she cried, he was back, and so were her feelings and now she was going to have to deal with them every time she went outside because he lived so close and, and…

"Oh my God," the thought slammed into her.

Derek was back and he'd be home soon and her big mouth had said that she was going out on a 'hot date' and unless she planned on hanging out in dark house, not happening, she had to come up with something quick. Not going out now was not an option.

"Crap, crap, crap," she scrambled for her bag, digging into it, she needed her phone, she needed back-up, the kind of back-up only one person could give her.

If anyone looked at her phone, not that anyone would, they would have been stunned by the number inhabiting 9 on her speed dial, but that was the number she pressed and held.

The voice on the other end didn't sound surprised that she was calling, "He's back."

"I know, I heard," Chloe felt her gut twist; of course everyone else had already gotten the news.

"Yeah, well I might have said I had a hot date," she cringed, "among other things."

The laughter was loud enough that she pulled the phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes, typical, "I need help."

"Yes my dear Chloe you really do."


	3. Chapter 3

So one little snippet of a conversation turned into a monster of a chapter. I absolutely loved writing this and I hope you like it too. Let me just say that I have never liked people who beg for reviews or say they won't upload without them, but the amount of story alerts (which is flattering) versus the number of reviews is heartbreaking. Reviews take a second maybe five, that's all I'm asking for, let me know this is going somewhere you want to go too. I'm done, sorry for the rant. Please enjoy!

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"_Yeah, well I might have said I had a hot date," she cringed, "among other things."_

_The laughter was loud enough that she pulled the phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes, typical, "I need help."_

"_Yes my dear Chloe you really do."_

_

* * *

_

There was probably no other person more suited to handle this situation than Victoria Enright, "OK, so first thing you have to do is find your backbone and stop crying," Chloe rolled her eyes.

"And stand up," swearing under her breath Chloe stood.

"I swear to God you have magical powers," Tori snorted.

"Right, like I'd need a crystal ball to know you were in the entry sobbing," Tori had pegged the scene so perfectly Chloe laughed.

Tori snickered in return, "You aren't the only one who could work something fierce behind the camera."

There was no doubt that Tori could direct, she was by nature bossy and demanding.

"You wouldn't lose patience with the details in five minutes," Tori sighed.

"True, but just let me direct this scene ok," Chloe nodded.

"Words Chloe," she quickly gave her consent, the blush racing up her neck in embarrassment.

"OK so here's what you need to do," Chloe raced up the stairs, Tori hadn't stated it, but there was a sense of urgency. And maybe she was in a race, because whatever she was about to do, and with Tori who knew, Chloe wasn't sure she could do it if she knew Derek was home.

"Chloe, pay attention," she slid to a stop outside her bedroom, "right sorry."

"Do you remember that black skirt we tried on when we raided your Aunt's closet?"

There had only been one that Tori had said did anything for her figure, "the one with the ruffle?"

"Yup, that skirt, double tanks, alternate colors, and no fabric with ribbing," Chloe had balanced the phone on her shoulder and was digging in her Aunt's closet. To think she was supposed to be shopping for own wardrobe right now, it occurred to her that she might invite Tori along.

A new wardrobe would be something that Tori would love to orchestrate for her, "And then you're going to need to do something with your hair."

Their friendship and Chloe used that term lightly and never in public, had come about quite by accident. Two weeks into her first semester Chloe had been running late to a theater class, the building had hallways in unexpected places and she had ended up in the wrong class more than once.

On this particular late arrival Chloe had walked into a meltdown, specifically Victoria Enright's complete and total nuclear meltdown. Chloe to this day didn't know what Tori had been upset about, but standing in the doorway to the auditorium she had seen Tori, with her hands in the air, eyes blazing and the scene had practically written itself.

Each semester students were required to team up and present a piece of their own creation, there had been a few ideas bouncing around her head when Chloe had first heard of the project, but in that moment everything fell into place.

"I'm sorry who are you," Tori had not been the most receptive to Chloe's quiet introduction, meek was not an attribute Tori held in high esteem? By the time Chloe had stammered out her idea Tori was intrigued.

There was one question that had thrown Chloe, "are you asking me because of my Mom?"

At the time Chloe had had no idea who Diane Enright was, so she had responded honestly, "n-no, I just saw you on stage and knew it had to be you." To this day Chloe had never forgotten the impact her words had had on Tori.

"Are you almost done," Tori had held on while Chloe had changed her clothes and pulled her hair into a sleek ponytail, with a quick side sweep of her bangs she was set.

Picking up the phone she looked at her reflection, a tiny thread of confidence slipping up her spine, she just might pull this off.

"Finally," leave it to Tori to knock her down a peg, "go check outside, be discreet."

Sneaking through the house she made her way into her Aunt's study, the windows faced the street, peeking out she moved the blinds a half inch, "wow," Tori snorted.

Simon had dragged the basketball hoop down the drive-way, and there they were playing ball as if it were any other afternoon. Chloe might have been furious over seeing the simple domestic scene if it weren't for one major, monumental difference; the lack of shirt on Derek was a new and rather devastating development.

"Is your brain dissecting in big words," Chloe swallowed thickly, "uh huh?"

Tori snorted, "Well what is it?"

Somehow she stuttered out a brief description, Tori whistled low.

Chloe tore her eyes away from the _scene_ to glare at her phone, she must have made a noise, with her luck today it was probably a growl, "What? I saw him earlier, that boy filled out in all the right places."

There was a definite choking going on now, "breathe Chloe God, he's so not my type, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to sneak a peek."

"Whatever," letting go of the blinds, Chloe turned her back on the window, any confidence that she could pull off this stupid scheme was crumbling.

"You've got to move Saunders, the timing of this next part is crucial," just because there was no real chance they were going to pull this off didn't mean she wasn't going to try.

One thing Chloe had learned since that horrible afternoon was that she was stronger and more resourceful than she had given herself credit for.

"Black ballet flats, he always liked that he towered over you, and no less than five of those long necklaces," Chloe raced to her room.

"Head downstairs, take each step slowly, control your breathing, at the door a spray of that yuck flower crap I know you have in your bag," Chloe rolled her eyes, "and see if you can't dig something for your lips out of there."

There should be some Hard Candy gloss somewhere in her bag, had to be, "I called you a cab, I ordered you one online. Who knew you could order them online," Chloe certainly hadn't known that.

"Thanks," her front door was staring at her, taking a deep breath Chloe closed her eyes and she imagined stepping out onto the porch, "I can do this."

There was more doubt in her voice than she would have liked, "You will do this, after what he didn't do, you are definitely going out there."

Tori was the only one who knew the whole story, the only one who had known that Derek was more than her math tutor. Their connection was strange and complication, as strange and complication as the one Chloe had had with Derek; at the time Chloe would have sworn Tori would have dropped her at the first sign of trouble.

That assumption had not been the first one she had been dead wrong about.

"Get out there Chloe, smile, laugh, stay on the phone, walk back and forth across the porch, and no matter what, no matter how much you want, shirt or no shirt, you do not look over there."

Right, walk, smile, _don't look_, with the words looping in her head Chloe opened the door her gaze firmly on the neighbor's yard in the opposite direction. Tori coached her through the first steps and Chloe was proud that she remembered to set the alarm before she closed the door.

Two full rotations and Chloe's nerves were stretched taut, the occasional thump of ball on pavement had stopped and Chloe was chewing the inside of her cheek, "I want to look, I need to look," her back was to him but she would have bet her camera that he was looking.

Chloe hoped Tori had an idea because her brain was still tripping over the thought that Derek, _her Derek_, and it was going to take time for him not to be that, was running around outside shirtless. Chloe had never considered that guys might be self conscious about their bodies, until Derek.

Between his height, he towered over most of the student body at well over six feet, and his acne, which she had assured him would go away; he had always been someone who tried to downplay the space he took up. Three months ago Derek wouldn't have been caught dead without a shirt, much less in public, _in front of her_.

There was a stupid little voice bugging her, asking her what else had changed, and was the change for the better or the worse? A lack of shirt? Definite win for her (not that she had the right to look anymore) and for any passerby.

She tripped over her own foot, a surge of jealousy clawed at her belly, she almost spun around but Tori's voice spun through the red haze, "take a peek in the reflection of the window but you better not turn around."

After a steadying breath, Chloe faked a giggle, which drew a compliment from Tori, three steps later and she was in place. Her view wasn't great, it was blurry but it was enough, "they're sitting on the curb, Simon's talking, but _he's_ just drinking water," she grinned; his eyes never left the direction of her porch.

"I'm mean aren't I," they had been through so much.

Tori cursed, "Please, feel guilty tomorrow, this is for that walk you made down that drive way," as it always did the memory sucker punched her.

"You're right," the memory was enough to tear her eyes away from the window, just in time to see the cab drive up.

"My ride's here," she wished she could sound more excited, but if there was ever an example of all dressed up with no place to go, this was it.

"Smile, bounce down the steps and you're home free," with more poise and coordination than Chloe knew she had she made it to and inside the waiting vehicle.

When the cab pulled away Chloe frowned, "where am I going," Tori laughed.

"You're coming over. A night of bitching over stupid boys, I'm all over it," Chloe laughed it was such a Tori thing to say, and there would no doubt be a bottle of something alcoholic swiped from the wine cellar. Mr. Enright had filled the room to the brim with bottles, it was what the wealthy did, but Chloe was positive Tori was the only Enright who had stepped foot in there.

Drinking one's troubles away was not something Chloe endorsed, especially when one was underage, she had seen all the PSA's. More than likely she would sip once or twice, Tori would get through half a glass before deciding it tasted bad, it always tasted bad, but then Chloe supposed that meant it was expensive?

Thoughts were again becoming scattered, "You OK," there was a shocking sincerity to Tori's question that made Chloe sit up.

"I'm overwhelmed," most people bought the little lies 'I'm good', 'I'm fine', but Derek never had and after he was gone Chloe had discovered that Tori wouldn't take it either.

"He's back and different and the same and I just can't think straight, I can't think through it," with a sigh she let her head fall back against the seat, her necklaces crashing together making her jump.

"It's a no win situation, he leaves it sucks, he comes backs it sucks," and that there was the heart of the matter. Chloe didn't want him gone, but she wasn't sure she wanted him back, and to top it off she wasn't sure if it mattered anymore what she wanted.

"What if he doesn't want me anymore," and there it was her biggest fear.

Tori snorted, more like a laugh, "right like Derek Souza won't be hounding you like a wolf until you pay him attention."

Chloe laughed, it might have come out a little wet, she wasn't sure when she had started crying.

"You're going to have a lot to worry about in the next few days Chloe," leave it to Tori to keep things real, "but whether or not Derek is still insanely crazy about you will not be one of them."

'I hope not' the words almost slipped out, almost, Chloe caught them just in time, glad that she was able to catch them. She might not have wanted them out there, but that didn't mean they weren't the truth. Chloe very much cared that he was back and wanted him back, whether she should or not was an entirely different question.

Further reflection was avoided as Tori's house came into view. The Enright estate, compound as Tori had called it on more than one occasion, was the kind of wealthy most kids in movies were embarrassed of. Tori held nothing but contempt for the house that her Mother had bought and promptly dumped her family in.

After Mrs. Enright had made her name in the corporate world the family she had used in photo ops and business dinners was promptly paid off and forgotten. Tori's Dad had gotten a disgustingly good deal in the divorce, Tori had rattled off numbers that had made Chloe's eyes go wide.

"Looking good Saunders," Tori held the door open as Chloe climbed out, passing a ten to the driver as she went.

"You know I paid online right," Chloe shrugged.

"Whatever, he had to listen to my angst on the drive over," Tori slipped an arm through hers in a rare display of affection.

"We're doing to do this up right, I've got the worst possible foods for our figures, DVD's that are going to make you cringe, and of course Daddy is coughing up the good stuff," Chloe smiled to herself, one less bottle in the wine cellar.

This was exactly what she needed, "Thanks Tori, for everything, I'm glad I'm not alone tonight," if anyone understood the power of an empty house it was Tori, Chloe squeezed her arm, a hug was what she wanted, but that would be pushing it.

"The brat's home but she'll behave I promised her we'll do her toes, I picked up some new colors," they spent the rest of the walk up the long drive talking about polish and what would look the best on her nails; and what colors would drive a certain boy crazy tomorrow.

Chloe smiled at Tori's suggestion of lime and tan, it hit then really and truly hit her; Derek was back.

Smiling she caught up to Tori as she headed into the house. Derek was home and it was going to hard and probably painful but they were going to find their way back to each other; they had too.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again I thank you all for the wonderful and supportive reviews, they mean so much to me. I had fun with this chapter, it wasn't at all what I was expecting but I got distracted at YouTube looking at cast suggestions for the Darkest Powers series. A lot of good (and weird) suggestions but I've settled firmly on Dakota Fanning as my Chloe and even better is Cameron Bright as Derek. He was the best suggestion I saw, loved him in Birth, and the last scene in this chapter is entirely because I want to see what Chloe see's around the corner! SO enjoy and please leave a review and forgive my super long author's note.

* * *

_Chloe smiled at Tori's suggestion of lime and tan, it hit then really and truly hit her; Derek was back. _

_Smiling she caught up to Tori as she headed into the house. Derek was home and it was going to hard and probably painful but they were going to find their way back to each other; they had too._

* * *

"I hate you," Tori snorted not at all perturbed by the weary venom in Chloe's voice, Tori had heard worse, from Chloe herself.

"You'll be fine," Chloe watched with one eye cracked as Tori reached into her oversized Coach bag and withdrew a Red Bull, "drink up."

Grimacing Chloe drank up half in one hit, they had stayed up late, really late, moaning about boys and dancing to cheesy Nineties music. The impromptu sleepover had been a blast, but now it was almost homeroom and Chloe could feel the lack of sleep kicking her in the butt.

The drive to school was quiet, perhaps sensing her sleep deprived state might lead to violence Tori had kept the radio to a whisper and driven with more common sense than Chloe had ever seen. School, she couldn't believe she was going to face classes; it figures _he_ would show up on a Tuesday afternoon.

How hard would it have been for Derek to show up on a Friday, which would have given her a weekend to prepare; now she was sleepy and wearing clothes that revealed way too much skin. Borrowing clothes that morning had been an embarrassment if not hilarious moment between Enright sisters.

Half of her wardrobe had come from Tori, the other half from her little sister, for all their bickering the sisters fashion taste ran alike. So Chloe had wound up in an Enright ensemble that she was worried was going to turn heads.

"You look fine stop picking," immediately Chloe rested her fingers on the door handle, she had a feeling she was going to be tugging the hem of her skirt all day.

"So you have your strategy right," they had gone over plans and counter measures and tried to think of every Derek and not-Derek reaction.

"Keep my chin up no matter what," Tori nodded. There was more but Chloe was too nervous to voice them. Her worst fear was running into him in the halls, with so many witnesses she wasn't sure she wouldn't do something stupid. Hopefully he had enrolled in as many advanced classes as he had last year, if there were any left; on paper Derek was a senior, academically he was light years ahead of the student body.

Chloe had asked him once why he was going to an arts school when he had no interest in them at all, he had shrugged, "Simon's here."

The brother's were connected like that, Derek could have gone to any school, would probably make it into any college he applied, but he had come to this school because of Simon. More than once Chloe had wished for a sibling.

Last night at the Enright house had put a temporary moratorium on that particular wish, "hopefully he'll be distracted with getting caught up with classes."

Tori snorted, "right, like he couldn't ace the classes in his sleep," it should bother Chloe that Tori knew so very much about him, but she was too wired to care. It wasn't like Tori liked him like _that_ she just knew things about people, 'knowledge is power Saunders'. In those moments Chloe wondered if Tori knew how much she sounded like her Mother, or what she had heard of Diane Enright.

"Here we are," Chloe could have smacked the cheer out of the other girls face.

Before she could process arrival the car was parked and Tori was getting out, scrambling to catch up, Chloe ran the last few steps tugging on her skirt as she went.

"Stop it," Chloe's hand was batted away and she took a deep breath, she seriously needed to chill out, it was just school, not an execution.

"Right, so you'll be fine," Tori tugged on her wrist and Chloe came to a stop, looking to her left, "I'll manage."

She had managed before she would do so now. Tori nodded, "I'll catch you later then," Chloe smiled and watched as the masses parted for Victoria Enright.

Squaring her shoulders, her bare shoulders, only Tori would have convinced her that she could pull off spaghetti straps, Chloe headed for her locker.

The day passed unbearably slow, each class felt longer than the allotted forty-five minutes, and the trips between the bells had become hazardous to her health. Chloe had tripped over more than one discarded backpack, she blamed the wedges that pinched her toes, but Tori had assured her they did 'amazing things to her legs'. The price of fashion might just cost her a hamstring.

The bell rang and Chloe rose from her seat slowly, her stomach rumbling, aside from the energy drinks she had downed she hadn't had anything else and was more than ready for lunch. Maybe it was the lack of carbs and protein in the last twenty-four hours, but Chloe loaded up her tray and made a bee line for the closest table; so intent was she on her food, she never saw him coming.

One second she had been biting into her chicken wrap, the next he was there, straddling the seat next to her.

Of course she jumped, interrupting her swallow and the food couldn't decide which way it wanted to go. With a cough and a sputter she managed not to spew her bite across the tabletop, turning to glare at him.

"Eat much," the snark was so unexpected, so familiar, the quiet humor so typically _her_ Derek that she forgot her anger and angst and burst out laughing.

"You s-scared the crap out of me," he had, yesterday, today; she was a second away from snapping in half.

"Sorry," he grumbled. Apparently whatever transformation he had gone through had not improved his conversational skills. Chloe sent up a quick prayer of thanks, a chatty Derek Souza would have been entirely too much for her to handle.

Sneaking a quick peek to her right, she smiled when she saw him eyeing her tray, "go ahead, I know you want too," she whispered.

They were falling back into a familiar routine, they had spent many lunches studying and he had forever been stealing whatever she hadn't consumed in the first thirty seconds. Derek looked over at her, his green eyes meeting hers finally, firmly, and she might have forgotten to take a deep enough breath.

Somewhere in the back of her head a voice was screaming, telling her not to get sucked in, it sounded an awful lot like Tori, but Chloe indulged in the moment. She had missed him and he was so close, his denim covered right knee was pressed against her bare thigh, he was still staring and she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks.

A moment before she might have done something stupid he grinned, reaching forward he snatched her apple off the tray, still reeling from the force of the smile she turned her attention back on her food and tried to compose herself. What was she going to do with him?

They needed to talk, like really talk, and they couldn't do that here, was it her place to say something? Shouldn't he ask, if there were protocols for this type of situation she didn't know them.

Thinking over what should or shouldn't be said Chloe managed to finish up her wrap, she absently noted that Derek had opened her water for her, and taken some of her chips.

Muttering thanks she picked up her drink, he caught her eye as she put the bottle down, "I was kinda hoping if you weren't busy after school I could give you a ride home," she looked at him, "I want to talk, to explain."

The nerves were evident in his voice, the bouncing in his knees, Chloe couldn't get over how he was so much like the boy she had known and so totally different. Would it be that way for her too? When her body ever caught up to her birth date would people in her life look at her differently, because she was looking at him differently.

"Is everything OK," Derek leaned closer, "you're staring Chloe."

Leaning back Chloe sputtered, "Y-yes, yes, I'm sorry," she frowned she shouldn't be apologizing.

"It's just you," he frowned, tilting his head just so to the right and she knew he was considering her words, dissecting every possible implication.

With a shrug she turned back to her tray, picking up her pudding cup, "you look so different, you have to know that, and you know," she was pretty sure he didn't know and he would ask her and then she would have to explain herself which she really didn't want to do.

"I don't know," bingo, "explain."

Dipping her spoon into the caramel she gave him a pointed look, "you really don't want to take that tone with me right now," she jabbed at the air in front of him with her plastic spoon and he sat back surprised.

She smirked, it looked like some things won't change, Derek liked answers, pretty neat little answers in their appropriate sized boxes and she knew it, too bad for him she wasn't feeling very accommodating today.

"You look different," she pointed to the bicep, which she had snuck more than one peek at, "you're acting different," she waved at the room around them. They had never once sat together in the cafeteria; even now she could feel the eyes on the table. Ignoring the stares she looked back at Derek, he was frowning, it might have been bordering on brooding, and there was a line of tension between his eyes.

He really wasn't going to like the next thing she said, but Chloe was different now too, "it makes me wonder what else is different," he looked up at her sharply, "if too much is different than what's the point."

Chloe read the shock and hurt on his face and had knew she had reached her limit, "if you still want to talk I can do that," she stood hooking her bag over her shoulder and picking up her tray, "I can't promise anything more than that."

She felt his hand brush her knee and she might have gasped; he was as warm as he ever was, with wide eyes she looked down at him. There was so much in his look, in his eyes, Chloe felt her heart tug in her chest, and God she still adored him.

"I-I'll see you after class," she stepped back, "or not," he frowned at her uncertainty.

"I'll be there," she nodding taking another step back, bumping into a passing sophomore, "s-sorry."

Before the situation fell apart completely Chloe turned and fled, dropping her lunch in the trash she dropped the tray in the return pile and booked it to the nearest girls room.

Time had dragged through the morning classes, unfortunately for Chloe the same could not be said for the afternoon classes. Every time she blinked another half hour had passed and before she could fully wrap her head around what had happened at lunch the final bell was ringing.

Gathering up her books, once again she had taken no notes, made no connections between what was being said and what was in her head; at this rate she was going to need a tutor in classes she had been comfortable with.

Once again her dawdling had left the hallways relatively clear; Chloe might have dragged her feet a little more than usual, she could admit that. When she reached her stairwell, the same set of stairs she had walked yesterday and every other day she squared her shoulders. Derek had made her nervous at lunch; that had as much to do with his new look than anything else.

Despite the haze that had settled over her, she had heard whispers, 'who was the new guy', there had been guesses and giggles. The whole situation had put an even more surreal spin on the day, how could the female population not know who he was? Chloe might have laughed if she wasn't so angry at their shallow natures. Tori would have laughed told her to stop being so high and mighty, that Chloe was just pissed that they were encroaching on her territory.

There needed to be someone else who could fill the role of devil's advocate, rolling her eyes, Chloe made it up the last few steps. Glancing down the hall her feet tripped over the scene before her brain could process it, the pen she had been holding fell from her hand, rolling across the floor the sound echoed in the empty hallway.

Empty except for Derek who was waiting for her at her locker; he was leaning back against the row his hands stuffed into the front pocket of his jeans, a long dark figure. At her approach he had turned to look at her.

Now this was something familiar, there had been many afternoons that he had waited for her before their tutoring sessions. Their eyes met and it was still there, that connection, that pull that had kept Chloe coming back to him when he pushed her away.

How many times had he pulled back when she had pushed forward, Chloe would never had considered herself a nosy person and never would she have been called a pushy person, but she had pushed him. After the marked improvement in her math class Derek had shrugged at her attempts to thank him, "I mean it I want to celebrate," she had bounced into the classroom they used waving her latest exam.

Derek had given her a look, she had rolled her eyes and continued doing her happy exam dance, "come on let's go get ice cream I want ice cream." When he hadn't moved from the seat he had been occupying she had stuck out her bottom lip and poked him in the shoulder.

"My treat," Chloe had been determined to get him and ice cream in the same room; she pinched the fabric of his shirt and tugged, "come on Derek, please."

He grumbled something under his breath that she had missed, "What?"

When he had looked up, she had once again started at the intense green that studied her, "I said if you don't need a tutor anymore, I'll just go."

Chloe had rolled her eyes, "Forget tutoring, I want to celebrate my awesome grade with my _friend_ and get some ice cream." At the mention of the word friend his eyes had gone noticeably wide and she had had a hard time containing her smile at his rising blush. That moment might have been the first time she had considered how adorable he might be.

With another murmur that might have been an OK, at least she had taken it as one; they had left together for ice cream.

They had moved beyond ice cream but here in this moment she was seeing the shy math tutor that she had cajoled into hot fudge. Walking up to him with a smile she waited for him to slide away from her locker.

"I thought I was meeting you at your car," at least she hoped he still had his car.

He shrugged, "study hall let out early," she snorted. More than likely he hadn't even bothered to go and with his grades none of the teachers monitoring would mind. There was a definite playing of favorites when your GPA was over 4.2.

With her books switched she turned towards him, giving him her full attention. The dark jeans were back again today, but he was wearing a t-shirt the color of sand with some print on the left shoulder. There was a definite Simon influence in the clothes, she opened her mouth to compliment him but her mouth closed just as quickly.

Putting more emphasis on the changes, the differences was not going to be helpful, not now, they had other more important things to cover.

Snapping her locker shut, she didn't protest when he reached for her backpack, he might as well put those shiny, new muscles to use, "what?"

Busted, "just thinking of ways to put those arms to work." Oh. My. God. Had she said that? Like those words had come out of her mouth.

"I'm sorry, I mean-I," Chloe felt her cheeks burning and if she could have melted into the floor in total embarrassment she would have been OK with that.

Derek nudged her shoulder, she peeked up at him, there was a smile on his face and she let out a sigh of relief, "you just let me know when you have some ideas," he smirked at her.

With a huff Chloe crossed her arms and gave him her dirtiest look which only made him grin wider, she really needed to work on her intimidating face.

They had walked the length of the school, the exit was just ahead, and Derek reached for the door first, pushing it open for her. With murmured thanks Chloe ducked under his arm, she could admit that she had loved that once upon a time. Tori had never understood why anyone would want someone towering over them. The height difference between them, in Chloe's opinion, was totally adorable.

Derek slipped her bag over his shoulder pointing towards the lot where his car was, "so I was thinking we could go for some ice cream."

Her heart skipped the next couple of beats, he remembered, of course he remembered; it was Derek.

"Ice cream sounds perfect," some things might have changed but maybe the important things had stayed the same.


	5. Chapter 5

Whew, so this chapter was a lot harder to write than I imagined and once again my muse went into a completely different direction. I'm sorry I didn't update sooner but my cold was kicking my butt, I want to send a special thanks to darker.. for their help with some canon issues; and to everyone else who reviewed me thank you so much, it means a lot. So please enjoy and I am dying to hear what you think.

* * *

_Her heart skipped the next couple of beats, he remembered, of course he remembered; it was Derek._

"_Ice cream sounds perfect," some things might have changed but maybe the important things had stayed the same._

_

* * *

_

Derek behind the wheel had never once bothered Chloe, unlike her experiences with Tori and that one horrible time with Rae (which would never, ever be repeated) there had never been an uncomfortable moment in his car. The silence wasn't exactly uncomfortable but it was strained, her palms were definitely damp; Chloe rubbed them absently against what little fabric there was of her skirt.

The quiet was bugging her, but there was nothing she was ready to say, music seemed like the best distraction. His iPod was laying in the unused ashtray so she picked it up scrolling through his playlists. The more she looked the lower her stomach sank.

Some new playlists might have been nice, an unknown artist or two even; but Chloe found everything organized and categorized exactly as she had the last time she had scrolled through it. Wherever and whatever he had been doing he hadn't been updating his playlists. Swallowing back the unexpected wave of emotion she picked the third of seven 'driving' playlists her hands automatically going for the adapter.

When the music filled the space between them she took a moment to look at him; his face wasn't giving much away, that much was the same. Derek had one of the best poker faces; it had driven her crazy more than once. At the next red light he turned and met her gaze, she didn't flinch, letting him look as he would; she had stared at him enough to warrant a little payback.

When his eyes settled on her hair, her fingers automatically tugged on some of the strands near her shoulders, "you let it grow out," Chloe shrugged.

The choppy hair she had sported had been cute but high maintenance and after the dust had settled from that day the last thing she had wanted was complicated hair, "It's easier this way."

A lot of things were easier now, Derek nodded, his attention turning back towards the road, "it looks nice."

So she might have blushed, so what, she was sixteen, soon to be seventeen and compliments were allowed to make her blush. There wasn't any time for further fashion discussion as they had arrived at the DQ, "have you tried the new one, its pecan pie, totally awesome?"

Small talk wasn't a problem, if they stuck to hair and ice cream they would be alright, "I haven't, you want fries?"

They eased into the drive-thru and Derek ordered two blizzards for them and a large fry to split.

"Thanks," Chloe took her cup and immediately pulled the straw out, spooning the yum onto her tongue; Derek laughed and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Where to?" he asked.

Chloe hadn't given their next stop any thought, "You're behind the wheel," while she might not trust him with her heart, she was convinced that he would handle their afternoon without incident, "you pick."

Derek nodded and turned right out of the parking lot, when they passed the third light Chloe knew where they were headed and sighed. No one to blame but herself, she should have seen it coming, but she had left it up to him and would now have to deal with the consequences. For the first time since they left school Chloe realized that she wasn't heading straight home as she had done since the term started.

Reaching for her phone she sent a text to her Aunt telling her she was with Tori and another to Tori telling her to cover; the reply back from the latter made her blush.

"What?" Derek had seen her face, Chloe laughed.

"Tori is very creative in 160 letters," Derek grimaced when she read him what was on the screen.

"I never did understand what you saw in her," neither Derek nor Tori could stand to be around each other long.

Chloe smirked, "she said the same thing about you."

Sitting back in the seat she looked out the window at the buildings passing, she was not about to get into with him about Tori. Even when things were great the two of them couldn't stand each other, and Chloe was fairly certain Tori was never going to get over what he had done.

Chloe wasn't sure if she could get over what he had done. With an effort the negativity was pushed aside, how could she hear him out if she was still circling around bitter thoughts? The hurt and anger was still there, and needed to be addressed, but her heart was telling her to listen first; to really hear what he had to say.

"Looks the same," Derek sounded surprised, and maybe she was a little bit too, "I haven't been here since."

He looked over at her sharply, "I'm sorry, I didn't think," Chloe put a hand on his arm, "It's alright. I can do this," the 'with you' was understood; it always had been with him.

Derek studied her for a second longer; she hoped he would find whatever he was looking for in her eyes, because she just might change her mind if he asked her again. The second before he might have asked Chloe opened the car door, cup in hand, and got out.

Kids were playing, the playground was alive with screams and laughter, and it was such a change from their last visit that Chloe blinked. The scene didn't change, no darkness, the only sounds were those of happiness, not of fear.

Derek moved next to her and she was glad he was there; "it looks so different," Chloe knew he was looking; she didn't have to look over at him to know that he was studying everything before them with that critical eye. Details were what Derek worked with, numbers and percentages; it had been up to Chloe to remind him to factor in the human quotient.

"Are you sure about this," the question might have been asked for his own piece of mind as much as hers.

This had to be done and she was glad that it was going to be here, "come on," Chloe stepped forward; the first step wasn't as hard as she had thought it would be.

When she didn't hear his footsteps following she looked over her shoulder, green eyes wide with anxiety and she thought maybe he wasn't ready for this. He might not deserve it, Tori would have said he didn't, but it was _Derek_ and she was Chloe and so she reached for him.

Her hand moved towards him, he leaned back clearly not expecting the welcoming gesture, but there was only a heartbeat's hesitation before he clasped her hand tightly. Chloe smiled, she couldn't help it, didn't want to, his hand was warm and big and familiar.

Hand in hand they circled the park until they found an unoccupied picnic table. Derek sat first; Chloe took a moment to weigh her options before sitting across from him. She wanted to look him in the eye, wanted to see his face as he explained.

This was Derek's show, so Chloe ate her ice cream, dipping a fry in on occasion; she had helped earlier with words but this was his story to tell and they were here and she was determined to stay quiet.

"Are you OK?" the question was so unexpected that Chloe dropped her spoon.

Her tolerant mood evaporated, he didn't even have the nerve to look her in the eye and ask, "don't OK, just don't."

Derek looked up at her and he might have flinched a little at the not amused expression on her face. Chloe picked up her spoon and pointed it at him, not at all moved by the wounded look he was giving her, "I'm here to hear you out."

Chloe might have taken a breath might have considered her next words if she had but she plowed right on through without thinking, "you have no right to ask that now."

The reaction was almost physical, Derek sat back and Chloe felt her stomach sink, the pain on his face, in his eyes; her mouth opened to retract when he interrupted.

"Right, hot date, how could I forget," he didn't, "does he get to ask those questions," he did?

Jealous, he was jealous, seriously, slamming her hands down on the table Chloe stood, "how dare you."

Immediately Derek reached for her, she might have registered the apology stumbling from his lips but she was too angry. Turning she moved away from the table, from him, how could he?

"Chloe," he caught her elbow, damn his long legs, "please stop," Chloe didn't have much of a choice; he wasn't holding tight, she could have shrugged him off, "I'm sorry."

Looking up Chloe saw that he was, but she wasn't going to let him tug on her emotions like that, "listen to me Derek because I'm only going to say this once," she did shrug out of his hold this time.

"You're back, I get that, I'm here, I'm trying to deal, but you were gone and things changed," maybe not what he thought, but Chloe was not the same person she had been, "and if you can't accept that than there's no point in this," she waved at their table and the melting ice cream.

"OK, right, I'm sorry, I know-I mean I don't know, but right," a thread of guilt wove its way through her heart at his stammered response.

Without waiting anymore Chloe went back to the table and sat back down. Soon enough she was going to have to deal with the fact that there wasn't anyone asking anything of her; that since the day Derek had left her she had been stuck. Nothing else might come out of this than a clean break, which she doubted, but Chloe had not been able to think about anyone else but Derek in the months he had been gone.

Her ice cream had lost its appeal, but she picked at it with her spoon wishing he would get on with it.

"You know Simon is one of those people who makes friends right away, you would think he had known the people at Gurney since kindergarten but we didn't even live here two years ago" Chloe looked up frowning; it wasn't what she was expecting to hear.

"There were these guys, real rednecks, they had cornered Simon at the basketball courts, I got there just as one pulled a knife," Chloe gasped, she couldn't believe it. Derek had never hinted at any of this, her shock mixed in with pain; how could he have not shared this with her?

"So there I was and there they were, and I just reacted, he's my brother," he looked up and she saw it, the love he had for Simon the fear that she would judge him.

Chloe took a deep breath, pushing past the pain she nodded, because running into that situation was so very Derek, "of course you did, it was Simon," she tried to keep her voice as neutral and steady as possible.

With a harsh laugh Derek broke their gaze, "so one second I'm standing there looking and the next I'm running at them. My Dad said it was the fear mixed with the adrenaline, it was just instinct, I don't know I guess it was."

His hands came up to rub his face, Chloe wanted to reach for him, giving that support had been second nature once; but it wasn't her place anymore.

"Anyway, I run and just rammed the guy with the knife. It was so stupid, I mean anything could have gone wrong, Simon might have gotten stabbed."

Derek might have gotten stabbed, but of course he wouldn't think about that, Chloe frowned, "you could have gotten hurt." His look found hers and the indifference she saw there at her suggestion was a sucker punch to the gut.

"Derek," she had seen hints of this before, his lack of self-worth had bothered her before but this, this was nothing she was prepared for, she would have yelled at him then, but he waved her off.

"I was fine, Simon was fine, but the guy, the guy I rammed, he hit the ground and he wasn't fine," Chloe knew her eyes went wide, but she couldn't help it.

"Oh my God," Derek looked at her, such pain in his eyes, and she did reach for him then, both of her hands covered his clenched fists and the taut skin was shockingly cold; Derek never ran cold.

"He landed crooked, his back got all messed up, and it took him a year before he could take walk again," Chloe could honestly say her head was spinning, so much information, so much emotion was swirling around inside her she didn't know what to grab onto; so she held onto his hands tighter.

"I didn't want to tell you, Simon said I should, he knew by the way, the whole time, knew everything about us," and that came as a total shock, "he didn't say anything to you because I asked him not too, I didn't want you to hear it from anyone but me."

Chloe wasn't sure which incident he was talking about, but it didn't matter, Derek had told his brother, the person he cared about the most in the world about what they had had and that meant something.

"There was an investigation, they found the knife and there was grainy surveillance from the bank across the street, but at the first opportunity my Dad moved us here," he sighed, "I know he thought it was for the best, a clean start, but-" Derek looked at her and she knew what he couldn't say. That it looked like they were running, that he had something to be ashamed off.

"You did what you had to Derek, nothing to be ashamed of," Chloe didn't know if it was what he needed to hear, but it was what she needed to say, what she had wanted to say that night months ago.

"Why didn't you tell me before though," she had thought there was trust between them, he knew all about her issues, they paled in comparison to what he had dealt with, but she hadn't known that until now.

"I thought-"she knew what she had thought but what it was what Derek thought that Chloe was second-guessing.

Seeing her confusion Derek tugged on her wrists he entwined their fingers and pressed his forehead against her thumbs, "I was afraid if you knew you wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore, I was the freak, no one in Gurney wants anything to do with me," Chloe wasn't sure of that anymore, but she understood, "you were my friend and I didn't want to lose that."

How had he not seen it, even after all this time he still had no idea, Chloe took a deep breath. This whole conversation was not going how she had imagined, he had revealed something profound, and maybe it was time for her to do the same.

"Do you remember why we were here that night," again it circled back to that awful night; except it hadn't started out awful.

Chloe watched as he flipped back through his memory, "you asked me to bring you here that night," it never failed to devastate her that it had been her suggestion to come here that night; but that was not where she was going with this.

"Right," this had been a special place for them, this playground not far from the Starbucks where they would sit and drink hot chocolate and work on homework or just talk; they had wandered onto the deserted playground more than once after dark and sat on the swings. Chloe had loved those nights, those talks under the stars, the memories brought a rush of emotions and she felt tears welling.

Blinking them away, she refused to cry now, she looked over at the kids playing focusing her thoughts, "see I had a plan," she looked back at Derek who was looking at her, curiosity plain on his face.

"I was going to invite you to non-prom," Derek laughed at that. They had talked more than once about having their own non-prom, about getting dressed up and not going to prom.

"You would have said yes," Chloe had been so sure he would go for the suggestion that she had bought a dress, it was a deep saphire, Tori had said it worked with her eyes; Chloe still had it buried in the back of her closet.

"When that night came you would have picked me up and we would have had the best time," Derek smiled and her heart flipped over once, maybe twice.

"And just because it was my non-prom you would have given me one dance," he grimaced; Derek had sworn he'd never dance, but Chloe had been certain that he would have given her just one.

"I had the song picked out and everything," her eyes closed at the image, Chloe had played it over and over in her head, "Damien Rice, 'the blower's daughter'."

"Chloe," there was a plea in Derek's voice, a desperation and Chloe might have guessed that he didn't want to hear, didn't want to know, but he was going to hear it, was going to know what had been in her heart.

"That was our song, you'd hear it, and give in and we'd dance," a tear did slip down her cheek then, she couldn't help it, "second verse, probably, because I would probably have been too nervous before that, I was going to reach up and I was going to kiss you."

Chloe opened her eyes, found his green ones looking back at her with shock and understanding, she almost laughed, "you really had no idea."

Her head shook in disbelief, "God, Derek it was you, it was so you in everything, in every way," Chloe wasn't making sense anymore, but it didn't matter anymore, he was looking at her like he had never seen her before and she wanted to die.

"I can't believe you never even had a clue," she felt so incredibly stupid, she figured she would have had to make the first move, it was Tori who had suggested that if she wanted Derek to just get him; but neither of them had considered that he might not want her in return.

"I'm so stupid," Chloe tried to twist her hands out his but Derek wasn't letting go, his look was hard when she tried to tug her hands away.

"Chloe," his voice was rough and the emotion behind her name shocked her enough that she stopped struggling, "I had no idea," her burst of laughter crumpled into a sob, "listen to me," Derek tugged her hands and Chloe looked over at him.

"That's doesn't mean that I didn't want you, that I didn't always want you," Chloe felt her jaw drop, "always, I just never thought for a second that I had a chance," a chance?

He would have had more than a chance. Right then, right at the second Chloe realized she had lost so much more that night than she ever imagined.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm sorry for the delay in updating. I was wrestling with self-doubt and then this chapter turned out to be very emotional and took a lot out of me. I rewrote the ending like three times, hopefully it turned out OK. Enjoy.

* * *

"_That's doesn't mean that I didn't want you, that I didn't always want you," Chloe felt her jaw drop, "always, I just never thought for a second that I had a chance," a chance? _

_He would have had more than a chance. Right then, right at the second Chloe realized she had lost so much more that night than she ever imagined._

_

* * *

_

School was being difficult as difficult as Chloe had imagined it would be. With strained nerves brought on by no sleep, and a head full of nothing but memories and words of Derek, Chloe had been of no use in her classes. As bad as classes were going, it was nothing compared to the short minutes between them; Derek was everywhere.

Chloe wasn't sure how he was doing it, how he was managing to be in her line of sight at every turn. Each spotting tugged at her heart; pushing the thoughts and feelings she was trying to ignore right back center stage.

After all the words had spilled between them yesterday Chloe had asked Derek to take her home, and he had, right away and without protest. There had been so much to process that she had wanted some time to sort through what he had said and what she had revealed. Derek had looked like he needed to work through some things himself.

Despite what they had covered yesterday there was still more to be said, so much more, but not today. Chloe was drained and wired, which she hadn't thought was even possible to be simultaneously. While avoiding Derek hadn't been possible Chloe hadn't approached him and he had been content it seemed to simply stare across the hall at her like he'd never seen her before.

Her words yesterday had probably been the cause, it amazed her that he had had no idea that she was head over heels for him; that it had taken her insistence of what might have been to bring it to light.

Slipping her ear buds in Chloe turned the music up loud enough to drown out the sounds of the hallway, she had study hall next, and she considered ditching. There were only two more classes after and it wasn't as if she was participating or furthering her education.

Hovering at the door to study hall there was a vibration in her pocket, 'class 330 no excuses meet car'.

"Crap," Chloe mumbled as she reread the text from Tori.

Debating Chloe weighed hiding in her bedroom and deal with bailing on Tori, the decision was easy, 'fine' Chloe texted half heartedly.

The last thing she needed was physical exertion, but the decision was made. Having committed to being there after school there was no reason to ditch or be late so Chloe headed into class and took a seat by the window. Maybe going to the gym wasn't such a terrible idea, she would probably stumble through the actual lesson, her thoughts were too scattered to be effective, but she wouldn't mind hitting something for a while.

With a grin she pulled her chemistry homework and tried to make of sense of the formulas on the page.

After reading the first question three times Chloe gave up and put the paper back in her bag, her thoughts drifting. So much had happened in what, one, two days, everything was jumbling together. Derek was gone and now Derek was back and the ground was slipping and sliding under her feet.

A grip, a very firm grip was what she needed, maybe she was overreacting. Chloe needed to take control back and just deal with the situation, it was time to take a step back and assess.

Fact, Derek had been someone very important to her once upon a time.

Fact, terrible times had occurred. The fallout was where things had gotten blurry, but now she had to decide if she wanted clarity.

Fact, she very much wanted clarity. Which may or may not lead to closure, just because Derek was back shouldn't automatically mean he had a place in her life again.

Fact, she really wanted Derek back in her life.

Rolling her eyes Chloe reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, her thumbs tapping idly against the keys.

So if control was what she wanted and the facts were now laid out before her the logical next step was answers; she had gotten some of the story yesterday, but there was more to cover. No reason to put it off any longer.

Decision made she typed a quick text 'we need to talk' and admittedly stared at her screen willing a response. Chloe grinned when the notification light blinked 'when where' that was Derek, he had not been a keen texter.

"Why don't you like texting" she had asked him once, he was looking over some of the expanded answers she had given on her last mid-term.

Derek didn't look up, "just don't," not at all put off by his abrupt answer Chloe sat down in the chair next to him. There was a visible tightening in his right hand that made her eyes go a little wide, so he wasn't as indifferent to her presence as he liked to put on.

That gesture gave her enough courage to press the issue, "well I do," she reached for his phone and snatched it up before he could take it back, "and 'just don't' is not an answer," she scolded.

Derek turned towards her, his eyes going from the phone in her hand to her face; Chloe might have taken a bigger breath of air than normal. Those eyes got her every time, so green, so intense, and they were so close to each other closer than they had ever been.

"What are you doing?" his question was lost on her.

"What?"

Derek smirked and his eyes flicked down to the phone, duh, the phone, she knew that.

"Right, what am I doing?" she dragged up the last five minutes in her memory, "right, I'm updating my contact information in your phone."

Derek frowned at her, she might have thought it was kind of adorable, she had never seen the super smart Derek Souza look puzzled, "why, your name is already in there?"

"Yes, but it's not a proper contact card," Chloe picked up her own phone and forwarded a cute picture Liz had taken of her yesterday, they had been playing with strips of colored hair. The red ones had caught Chloe's eye and she had put in a few, Liz had done her best to convince her to do the streaks for real and had taken a few pictures for Chloe to debate over.

Turning his attention back to her exam Derek gave her a frustrated, "whatever."

Chloe worked fast, she didn't want to push the limits of Derek's patience, "there," she put the phone back where she found it. Derek didn't even look at it, she should have known better.

"Fine," she muttered under her breath, if he wouldn't look than she would just have to show him, Chloe picked up her phone quickly texting 'hi '. the look on his face when his phone started singing was priceless.

Derek picked up his phone; Chloe leaned over and saw her face pop on the screen, "what is that?" he asked as he fumbled with the buttons, hitting them at random until the song cut off.

"That's the Little Mermaid 'Part of Your World' specifically," Chloe explained, Derek looked over at her like she had lost her mind, "that way you'll always know it's me."

As far as Chloe knew that song was still her ringtone on his phone. Blinking back the tears she focused on her phone and typed back the time and address of where he could meet her this afternoon.

Chloe was going to take back control of things, starting right now. Putting away her phone she pulled her chemistry homework back out and put all of her attention into finishing it before the bell rang.

The rest of the day had sped by without event and Chloe had been feeling better. Only now the final bell had rung ages ago and Tori was going to be annoyed, Chloe was running late. Her stupid locker had decided to pick today to not open. Tracking down the custodian and waiting as he jimmied the lock had stripped minutes away from her. Running the last few feet Chloe burst from the school building and headed for the parking lot.

"I'm sorry," Chloe shouted as she wove between the cars inching their way out of the lot.

Tori was scowling, but she was still there, which Chloe considered a victory, "we're going to be late," Tori admonished.

"I know," Chloe apologized again and got into the passenger seat, "we'll make it."

"There's the optimist," Tori bit in retort.

Chloe sighed, "Bad day?"

For the remainder of the ride Tori filled in how much their drama teacher sucked, which everyone knew, and how the stage hands had it in for her, which they might considering how often Tori yelled at them. Chloe never ceased to be amazed at how bitchy Tori could be and still manage to be one the better friends anyone could ever ask for.

"Finally," Tori exclaimed dramatically pulling into a parking space with two minutes to spare. Chloe left her book bag and took her purse and gym bag.

Tori was the one who had insisted that Chloe come with her to the gym, at first Chloe had gone because sometimes it was just easier not to argue but after the second and third visit Chloe had started looking forward to their sessions.

Kickboxing, yoga, straight boxing, Pilates whatever mood had struck Tori had been what they enrolled in. Over time they had circled back to the ones they liked the most. Chloe favored the yoga and jiu jitsu which Tori had found hilarious.

"Seriously Chloe this isn't the UFC," but Tori had joined her in the next class and seen for herself what had caught Chloe's interest. Technique and mental focus was as important in Brazilian jiu jitsu as upper body strength, of which Chloe had none, so she had worked with what she had. Being small and underestimated would work to her advantage now.

Chloe would never be helpless again.

"What's on the menu today," Chloe asked as they headed for the locker rooms to change.

With a smile Tori looked over at her, "kickboxing."

Chloe grinned back, glad she had come, "I could kick something."

Tori laughed, "I bet you could."

For the next ninety minutes all Chloe thought about was the strain on her muscles and where the next round of bruises were going to pop up.

"Nice one," Tori complimented from the mat. Chloe had landed a decent kick that had knocked Tori's balance off just enough that the following uppercut had taken the taller and stronger girl down.

"Thanks," Chloe took the compliment and helped Tori up.

Something caught Tori's eye something that made her frown, "what" Chloe asked.

"I think you have a visitor," Tori pointed towards the entrance. Chloe looked; she didn't want to, didn't really need to, but looked anyway.

"Looks like wolf boy is turning into a stalker," Tori snarled.

Chloe grabbed Tori's arm before she made it two steps, "no, no not a stalker. I told him to meet me here, he's just early."

Tori stopped and looked back over her shoulder.

Chloe shrugged, "there's more we have to talk about." Tori knew that Derek had taken her for ice cream yesterday and hadn't been amused.

"Chloe, nothing good is going to come from this," Tori's argument, while probably sound, was also old.

"Maybe but I want to hear him out, I deserve to know what happened, but beyond that I don't know what's going to happen," Chloe hoped that was enough.

Tori rolled her eyes, "Fine, but I totally reserve the right to say I told you so when he breaks your heart again."

Chloe grimaced, "it's not like that," she insisted.

Laughing Tori pointed, "It's exactly like that, and you're still hung up him, even more so with his emo make over."

Irritated with Tori and the conversation Chloe headed towards Derek, "bitch," she muttered when she passed Tori, who laughed and headed for the locker rooms.

Derek might be looking all yummy now, but Chloe wasn't that shallow, "Hi," her eyes looked only at his face and not at the white t-shirt straining across his shoulders.

"Hi yourself," he greeted.

"You're early," Chloe was all nerves again, sweaty, sticky nerves.

Derek grinned, his hand going to the back of his neck, "yeah uh I didn't recognize the address and wanted to check it out."

Made sense, "makes sense," Chloe looked up at him, he was looking around the gym and if she knew him at all he had about a million and a half questions.

"Right, well give me a few minutes to get cleaned up," Derek looked over as she spoke.

"Of course, take your time," he stepped back towards the chairs, "I'll just be sitting here."

Chloe smiled when he walked into a chair and sat down hard, "I'll be right back."

Turning it took all her effort not to run for the showers, but Chloe walked, she had control would have control. Ignoring Tori's running commentary on everything from what could go wrong today, or right, Chloe concentrated on getting herself presentable.

Mixing jeans she had in her bag, with a blue tank top from Tori's bag, she'd ask for permission later, she wrapped a gold belt around her waist that she had worn to school earlier. There was nothing she could do about her wet hair so she ran a comb through it and shouted a good-bye to Tori who was still in the shower.

Derek was still sitting where Chloe had left him, a part of her had worried he might have gone; a part of her was probably going to worry about that for a while. He stood as she approached, "that was fast."

Chloe kept her purse, Derek insisted on carrying her gym bag, at the last minute Chloe remembered her back pack was in Tori's car.

Another night of homework gone to waste, Derek opened the door for her, "thanks," she mumbled once again she ducked under his arm; those old habits were wreaking havoc on her heartbeat.

One of the conclusions Chloe had come to earlier was that she to have this conversation on her turf and that was home. So before Derek even started the car she spoke, "my Aunt is working a late shift tonight, we can talk at my house."

Derek looked over at her and she could see the surprise on his face, but he didn't object, "OK."

They were at her house in less than ten minutes; he parked in his drive-way though which made sense, "Simon's at practice and my Dad's working too."

Chloe hadn't asked but nodded at the explanation as they head up the front steps, "I have to get the alarm," she dropped her bags once the door opened and went for the alarm panel. The nervous words they were exchanging were going to make the 'talk' difficult.

Alarm disengaged Chloe turned, blinking, because to say it was surreal to have Derek standing in the entry was putting it mildly.

Control, she needed control, "I'm making a sandwich and heading out back," knowing Derek had never turned down food it didn't surprise her when they stood elbow to elbow at the counter each making their own plate.

Derek grabbed a two liter from the fridge as Chloe balanced cups on her plate.

Nudging the door to the deck open with her hip, it was Derek who thanked her, as he walked past, "your welcome."

They ate quickly, but with none of the weird energy that had filled the air between them on the way over.

Chloe finished first, looking across the patio table at him until he looked up, "So," she prompted.

"So," he mimicked. They smiled at each other, but Chloe wouldn't let them get distracted, this was too important.

Truth was as important as clarity Chloe looked at her hands, knuckles were swelling from her time on the mat.

"After you left I had all these words, all these things I needed to say, to explain, and there wasn't anyone I could share them with," at her words Derek sat back as if she had hit him; she felt bad, but it had to be said.

"So I told Tori," Chloe expected the reaction to not be good and Derek might have let out a few profane words but nothing as bad as she had imagined.

Chloe plowed on, it was her turn to talk, "She already knew I had a thing for you," he looked appropriately surprised by that, "and what I was planning with the non-prom so telling her about that night felt right," she looked over at him, "it was what I needed. You know it's funny, up until the point that you disappeared from the story I'm pretty sure you had made a lifelong friend in Tori."

Derek winced, but didn't interrupt, "Tori couldn't fix the fact that you had split, but she could help in other ways."

Understanding lit his face, Chloe watched fascinated, "the gym," he murmured.

She nodded in the affirmative, "the gym. You had been there that night, had stopped those assholes from attacking me from probably raping me," and now her anger was getting a hold of her, "you know that right, that they were going to hurt me in that way in the worst way," Chloe stood the anger and energy fueling her need to move.

This had been so long in coming and for him to just sit there calm and maybe a little horrified by her words, but it just pissed her off.

"How can you just be so calm about it," she asked.

Derek stood up so fast he knocked the chair over, his eyes going dark with anger, "I'm not calm, I'm anything but calm," he might have growled.

"And I know what they were going to do to you," he paced away from her, which pissed her off, "I-"he cut himself off and Chloe might have had to bite back a serious scream of frustration.

That night had started out so great, Chloe had insisted they go to the playground, it was dark, but they had been there before after dark and it had never been a problem. For what she had planned, the whole non-prom invite, Chloe had wanted the cover of darkness to hide any and all blushing.

With Derek's hand firmly in hers Chloe had tugged him over to the swings, "come on you can push me," Chloe had pleaded and Derek had relented.

Half way to the swing set Derek's hand had tightened on hers and he had stopped walking, "Derek what?"

His attention wasn't on her but something by the slide, Chloe had looked and seen two guys, older by the look of them, and they had been passing a bottle between them when they realized they weren't alone.

"Well well look what we have here," Chloe had had nightmares about that voice for weeks.

Jolted from the memory Chloe looked at Derek who was staring at her, pain in his eyes, she was certain he was remembering too.

"When I think about that night, there are some things I remember so clearly," Chloe crossed her arms, it was a warm afternoon but she was cold; freezing inside and out, "I remember how tightly you held my arms, I could feel your heart beating in your chest behind me, and I remembered thinking that while mine was beating wildly yours was strong and steady."

All those little details, "I was so scared," she whispered.

Derek stepped closer, than stopped his face uncertain so Chloe stepped towards him.

They met in the middle, his arms wrapped around her and Chloe held him tightly. This was what she had been missing, what she had been aching for all these weeks and months. The tears came then and she wasn't ashamed of them, not now, she was going to be a little bit selfish, take some of the strength he was offering and just have herself a cry.

When there were no more tears left to cry Chloe snuggled closer into his arms, "I got your shirt snotty," her words were muffled but Derek got the gist of it.

"God Chloe its fine," his laughter was a warm rumble against her cheek.

"I remember everything, every minute every second, it was a loop in my head and I couldn't get it to stop," Chloe held her breath as he explained.

"So many other outcomes, worse ones, better ones, I sorted through them all," Derek sighed his arms tightening around her; "it consumed me."

Chloe didn't understand, not really, "but-I mean, you-"she didn't know what she was trying to say.

The guys hadn't been content with just words they had stepped to Derek and he hadn't backed down, than they had gone for her and Chloe had watched in horror as all hell broke loose and the fight had begun.

Two against one had not seemed fair, but Derek had youth and sobriety and incentive on his side. Chloe had just had fear, had stood there doing nothing but watching until she had found enough common sense to pick up the broken stem of the whiskey bottle one of the guys had dropped.

Her timely intervention of the bottle into a thigh had been the turning point, Derek had gotten the upper hand and his fists had pounded each of them into the ground until Chloe had pulled him off. Derek had been amazing not that she had seen many fights, but she had been overwhelmed by what he had managed.

In the aftermath Chloe had been the one to help him, getting Derek to the car had been hard, he had gone still and quiet. Terrified Chloe had gotten behind the wheel of his car, she hadn't had her license, still didn't but he was in no condition to drive. Illegal and dangerous, yes, but Chloe had overlooked both in light of what they had been through.

They had made it to her street in one piece, she had been so thankful to see her empty house, Derek had tried to go home, but Chloe had insisted he come to hers so she could clean him up.

Derek had sat quietly on the edge of the tub in her bathroom, had let her wash the blood from his hands and face without complaint, had allowed her to treat the cuts on his knuckles without wincing. Chloe had tried to talk to him, his silence had scared her more than the blood, but he had kept his eyes on her face and his mouth closed. After he was as bandaged as her meager first aid skills would allow he had stood and hugged her tightly, so tightly Chloe hadn't thought he was going to let go, but he had and left her without another word walking the short distance home.

That was the last time she had seen him until two days ago.

"Another violent outburst from Derek Souza," she opened her mouth to protest, but he beat her to it, "I know it was protecting someone I cared about, but I put one boy in the hospital and God knows what happened to those two."

Chloe couldn't help but think they deserved whatever had happened to them, Chloe had run through many what if's herself, "he touched me Derek," her words had their desired effect Derek groaned and squeezed her to the point of discomfort, but she had a point to make.

"That guy grabbed my arm and pulled me away from you," it made her sick to think about it, Derek had yanked her back but for one horrifying second she had been afraid she would be pulled away and not returned whole, "but you pulled me back."

Chloe looked up, leaning back enough to see his face, "you saved me."

Derek looked at her, really looked at her and she felt so many things so quickly her head spun, they were so close, she could feel it. Chloe still needed more though, "tell me what happened after, please," she saw what she thought might be shame flicker across his face.

Chloe wasn't above begging and she was almost there, "my Dad was worried, I've always been athletic I like to run you know," Chloe remembered that he had been on the cross country team last season, remembered thinking it was the perfect team sport for someone who cherished solitude, "Dad was worried that there might be some imbalance in my head, in my body," Derek was speaking clearly but Chloe couldn't understand what he was saying

How could his Dad have thought that? Chloe had been there had seen what he what he had done, and while it had been impressive, it wasn't any more than what she had seen dozens of guys do at the gym since.

Derek was a natural fighter, he could probably benefit from a few of her classes, but still, "an imbalance" she asked, she couldn't really wrap her head around it.

"I was lost in my head," Derek looked down at her and the pain, God she saw such pain in his eyes, "if I had been thinking clearly I might have protested, made my Dad see reason, but-"Chloe swallowed, maybe she didn't want to know anymore, but he was already speaking, "they called it a 'house' named it after some guy fifty years ago."

Derek laughed but Chloe didn't think it was funny, "whatever they wanted to call it there was no changing the fact that it was where they sent the crazy kids, the troubled ones."

Derek looked at her, for one heartbeat Chloe thought he was messing with her, there was no way what he was saying could be true.

Horrified Chloe stepped back, "oh my God," she choked. Derek reached for her, and she didn't protest when he took her arms. His Dad had sent him away because of what she had wanted to do that night, because of what he had done to protect her. Everything, all of this, it was her fault.

"It's my fault," Chloe groaned, Derek was speaking but she couldn't hear him couldn't hear anything except the words in her head, "it was my idea to go there, mine, I"-Chloe couldn't finish the thought, her legs gave way and Derek caught her before she hit the ground.

"Chloe," she registered his voice but all she could hear was the pounding of the blood in her ears, "Derek," he was here, she could see him, but he had been gone because of her, "I'm so sorry," her vision narrowed and darkness swept over her.


	7. Chapter 7

There is no excuse as to why I haven't updated sooner except that real life is kicking my butt and there was a lukewarm reaction to the last chapter. Do you not like where it went? Do you not care where it's going? I won't know if you don't tell me. Please enjoy and review.

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"_It's my fault," Chloe groaned, Derek was speaking but she couldn't hear him couldn't hear anything except the words in her head, "it was my idea to go there, mine, I"-Chloe couldn't finish the thought, her legs gave way and Derek caught her before she hit the ground._

"_Chloe," she registered his voice but all she could hear was the pounding of the blood in her ears, "Derek," he was here, she could see him, but he had been gone because of her, "I'm so sorry," her vision narrowed and darkness swept over her._

_

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_

Chloe had never been so lost. Since waking up on top of her covers, Derek had been hovering next to her his eyes shining with fear; Chloe had alternated between embarrassment and guilt.

"I'm sorry," she muttered again, she had lost count of the apologies.

"Its fine, Chloe, just sit still," Derek had brought her a glass of water and had tried to convince her to call her Aunt. That had been absolutely out of the question, her Aunt understood about most things, but this situation would probably stretch that understanding past the breaking point.

Derek was a bundle of nervous energy, once she had woken and felt good enough to sit up he had moved off her bed and begun to pace.

It was making her dizzy, "Derek please," Chloe patted the small spot next to her. Derek stopped and she watched him consider his options, flight was pouring off him and she knew she would lose him if he left now.

Her sigh of relief when he carefully sat next to her was audible. He was warm and solid next to her, without hesitation her head eased onto his shoulder. The tension left Derek and he reached for her hand.

"I'm so sorry Chloe," she didn't want his apologies, God he didn't need to be sorry.

"No more apologies Derek, not right now," Chloe looked down at their hands, his thumb was rubbing the back of her hand and she smiled.

The enormity of what had happened hadn't hit her yet, well it had knocked her out, she winced at the thought that _she had fainted_ but things were too tenuous between them to talk about that. So what was next for them?

Where did you go from breakdown and abandonment?

"What happens now," Chloe hated that her voice was so small, she didn't want to be weak, and she wished she could at least project strength.

Derek sighed, his thumb stilled, "I don't know. I mean when I got back the only thing I could think about was seeing you," that came as a surprise to her.

"When did you get back," it was a question that had been bugging her, how long had he been across the street and she had been oblivious.

"Late Sunday night, Dad kept us all in Monday, had some heart to hearts," Chloe felt better knowing he hadn't been back long, "Tuesday I had to go see the principal and get my stuff straight. I wanted to call or come over," Chloe could not imagine what she would have done if he had just rung the door bell.

"And then I saw you heading for the bus stop and my feet just followed you," it was such a Derek thing to do Chloe smiled.

He had been honest with her and she would be honest with him, "It would have been an awkward meeting wherever it had happened."

Chloe sat up when her phone began to vibrate in her pocket, Derek let of her hand so she could get it, 'home soon. Bringing Chinese.' Of all the nights for her Aunt to be home for dinner, Chloe frowned.

"My Aunt is going to be home soon," Chloe turned the phone so he could look, but he was looking at her. Chloe might have melted a little bit, dropping the phone she reached for him, her fingertips brushing his cheek.

Derek froze as her fingers traced the lines of his face; his eyes went dark when her thumb ran across his lips. Chloe didn't know what had gotten into her she had never taken such liberties with him, but if her plans had gone uninterrupted that night they would have done this and so much more by now.

Maybe it was the time they had lost or the way he was looking at her, like she wasn't really doing what she was doing, or maybe she was tired of imagining what it might be like; whatever the reason Chloe leaned close and pressed her lips to him.

Warm so warm, Chloe felt the heat of his kiss down to her toes. There was so much left for them to sort out this would only complicate things but that truth fell away in light of the fireworks going off behind her eyes. How many times had she imagined doing just this? None of her daydreams could have ever come close to the real thing.

Derek reacted slowly, the hands he had in his lap moved slowly, cupping her face slowly and when Chloe felt his tongue against her lips she opened her mouth without hesitating.

OH good heavens how could they not have been doing this for so long. Chloe tugged on his hair, he might have grunted and she might have loved the sound.

Only the vibration in between their twisted legs, Chloe didn't know when they had fallen back against her pillows, separated them. Derek recovered first picking up her phone he turned it to face her and Chloe blinked twice before she could make out the words, 'want anything specific?' Chloe cursed.

How could she even think about food, Derek was grinning and Chloe just knew her face was reaching epic level blush status. Typing 'whatever' her thoughts had deserted her she dropped the phone and looked at Derek.

"I guess I better go," he didn't look like he wanted to go, he hadn't moved and neither had she.

"Sure," Chloe licked her lips and Derek might have leaned towards her before sitting back quickly. Chloe knew they were playing with fire, her Aunt was coming home and there were so many issues left between them, but that didn't change the fact that she really, really wanted to kiss him again.

"So," Derek asked.

Chloe smiled, "So," he smiled back and they stood. The moment had passed and that was OK, considering where they had been a half hour ago, him freaking and her passed out, they were making progress.

They headed back downstairs quietly, at the front door Derek turned towards her uncertainty on his face. Chloe frowned and there was a question on her lips, but he beat her to her words.

"I was thinking or really wondering you know if tomorrow I could," Chloe smiled Derek without words was pretty adorable, he took a breath and smiled down at her, "could I pick you up for school?"

She could work with that, "Sure," he grinned at her and she smiled back. He left her with that grin and she waved at him when he looked over back halfway across the street, "Don't be late," she called out. Even with the distance between them she saw his eye roll, when he wasn't vanishing he was known for his punctuality.

Chloe closed the door her fingers going to her lips; they might have still been tingling. There was a smile on her face for the rest of the night, her Aunt had asked more than once what was up and Chloe had only shook her head and told her that an old friend had come home.

Aunt Lauren assumed, as had everyone else, that Derek had gone away for the summer for school. Chloe wasn't up to making up answers as to what he had been doing so she had kept his return to herself. Not telling her Aunt about _that_ night had not been easy, there had been more than one occasion when the whole story had almost tumbled out.

Dinner had been trickier, more than once Chloe fought the words that were itching for release, this story needed to be told. By the time Aunt Lauren had retreated to her study to look over charts Chloe was nearing overload. Phone in hand Chloe headed up to her room and sent a quick text to Tori, 'girl Im losing it,' there had been no time earlier to go into details before dinner and Chloe assumed Tori would be pissed at the silence.

When the phone started ringing, Chloe smiled and answered right away. Thinking better of her surroundings Chloe headed back downstairs and back onto the porch. The story flowed unfiltered for the next half hour.

"Wow," Tori mumbled in her ear, "just wow."

"Yeah," Chloe concurred.

"That is not at all what I was expecting," Tori stunned was an uncommon occurrence and Chloe had half a mind to ask what was expected.

"What are you going to do," Tori asked.

Chloe laughed, "Why do you think I'm calling you?"

Tori snorted, "Well I know what you're not doing. No more kissing," Chloe flinched. The advice was sound, didn't mean she was going to take it; or practically could take it. Chloe could admit that she wanted to skip over the angst and just kiss him.

With a sigh Chloe sank back into her chair, "Can't we just skip the heartache and go right for the yum?"

Tori laughed, but her tone wasn't sharp, "that would be nice. I know how crazy you were about him."

"I am," Chloe interjected.

"Duh," Tori snorted, "but you've got to finish fixing this, whatever it is, before you go and make it something else and kissing is only going to make it harder."

Tori was right, "You're right," Chloe could admit it.

"It's just so much," Chloe struggled with the words, "I mean he saved me and then it like broke him."

Derek might have been mortified that Tori would be privy to the story, but Chloe had told him that Tori had been her confidant. Tori wouldn't snitch she might be a bitch but she wasn't mean.

"I don't know whether I should feel guilty or relieved," Chloe rubbed her cheek; "if I hadn't wanted to go there we wouldn't have been there."

Tori cursed, "Stop that. Those assholes are the ones to blame; they messed up your night. I'm not saying that Derek didn't get a bum rap cause he did, I mean they locked him up for kicking ass, that sucks, but none of that is your fault."

The tears were falling now, "I know you're right," and Chloe wanted to believe what Tori said.

"Do you want me to come over," Tori offered.

Chloe shook her head, "No, I'm OK I just need to work it through in my head, I'm probably not going to get much sleep tonight."

Their conversation wrapped up soon after. Chloe stayed outside, the night was cool, her head tilted back until she could see the stars above her. After spinning the situation around as many ways as she could Chloe came to the conclusion that she would let Derek take the lead, if he didn't want her guilt she wouldn't give it to him and if he didn't want to blame her than she would be grateful.

Content with her course of action Chloe picked up her phone, 'the stars are bright'. She didn't know where it had come from but Chloe wanted him to know that she was thinking about him, biting her lip she sent the text before she could talk herself out of it.

'I can see Pavo' Chloe laughed as she read his reply. Of course he would look up and see a lesser known constellation.

"Look it's the big dipper," Chloe had invited him over to share a piece of the birthday cake her Aunt had brought home from the restaurant.

Derek looked up dutifully, "there it is," Chloe frowned at his lack of enthusiasm.

"Don't tell me you of all people don't appreciate a beautiful sky full of stars," he looked over at her eyebrows raised, "you're like math-science guy."

Derek smirked and took another bite of red velvet cake, with his empty fork he pointed up to the sky, "that's Cassiopeia and over there is her daughter Andromeda."

Chloe looked up automatically, nothing jumped out at her, "I still see the Big Dipper." Derek laughed, Chloe had smiled she rarely made him laugh.

They had spent the rest of the night eating cake and Derek had done his best to show her various constellations.

The memories were warm in her chest, 'goodnight' Chloe stood the day had finally caught up to her and she yawned.

'night. See you in the morning.' Chloe heard the question even if he hadn't added a question mark, 'bright and early '.

Despite what she had told Tori Chloe felt her eyes closing without trouble the second she slipped under the covers.

True to his word Derek had been right on time, not that he had had far to go to get her, but it had still made her heart skip when she had stepped onto the porch and he had been waiting for her at the curb.

"Hi," Chloe smiled Derek smiled back. He was leaning against the passenger door, arms crossed and Chloe swallowed back her impulse, the big huge impulse to do some jumping and kissing.

Derek smirked; Chloe was pretty sure he had done some covert mind reading and rolled her eyes, "shut up."

Laughing Derek reached for her bag, "I didn't say a word."

"You didn't have to," Chloe muttered but gave him a sincere 'thanks' when he opened the door for her.

Classes went by in a flash, Chloe was proud of herself for not fidgeting, much, in anticipation of the lunch bell. Lunch meant Derek and Chloe was anxious to see him; she had an idea.

"I have an idea," dropping her tray next to Derek's Chloe she reached for her bottled water.

Derek looked over green eyes curious, "an idea."

Grinning Chloe nodded, "Yup," Tori had snorted at the idea and laid down a few ground rules, but ultimately had considered the idea tolerable.

Chloe made her pitch, there were only two tangents and she might have stuttered once, but only because she was excited. Derek hadn't said a word the entire time, had just sat there listening.

"So what do you think?" Chloe bit her lip; she really wanted him to say yes.

Rather than answer Derek reached for his bottle of water and took a drink, Chloe's smile faded as he turned the bottle over and over in his palms.

"I never imagined Chloe, God I never thought you would speak to me again, this, I mean," Chloe's heart had begun to thump so loudly in her chest she missed the first few words he spoke.

The bottle fell to the tray and he looked at her, Chloe went absolutely still, his eyes God they caught her, "are you sure Chloe I mean look what happened last time."

Chloe felt her jaw drop, how could he think that, a crash across the cafeteria made her jump. This was not the place for them to be talking about _this_ she had only meant to discuss her plan. Fixing this was up to her, and there wasn't a doubt in her heart.

"Derek there is a lot of things we need to work through and trust is one of those things," Chloe winced but she had to be honest, "I can't tell you that I'm not going to worry if things get tough again that you won't bail."

Derek opened his mouth to protest or agree but Chloe held up her hand, "that's something that's going to take time," and as she said the words she knew they were the truth. Time was what would heal that wound.

"But hear me when I say that I am not scared of you and what you did for me, for us, was nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of."

Chloe hoped he would hear her.

A heartbeat before she opened her mouth to further make her point because there was no way she was letting it go, he nodded.

"Saturday sounds great," Derek tried for a smile, it wasn't big but it was enough.

A huge sigh of relief whooshed out of Chloe's lungs, "oh thank goodness. You can pick me up at one and we'll head over to the gym."

Before she could reach into her bag for the list of classes she had printed up off their website in the library Derek caught her hand. Shocked Chloe watched as he slid his fingers between hers and squeezed.

"Thank you Chloe," she looked up, "for everything."

Much to her surprise, and anybody who might have been looking Derek pressed a quick kiss to the back of her hand.

Inviting him to join her in some classes at the gym had been her epiphany during Biology, giving them time together in a public environment that would not lead to kissing. Besides if there was anyone who was built to grapple it was Derek. Not for one second had she considered how big of a gesture it would be beyond the simple invite.

Simple was not a word she would describe them not right now, maybe not anymore, "you're welcome," Chloe smiled.

Who wanted simple?


End file.
